wishing that the earth would just swallow me up and i would cease to exist again..This is just something i feel at the moment and has nothing to do with what i'm gonna post up..

if only life could be easier..but it would never be..no one said that life would be easy..unless of cuz u're born in a good family with a large fortune to be inherited..or something like that where things are easy..but other than those minorities, most of us do not have the luxury to live an easy life with no worries..as we age and begin the transition to adulthood, things get more complicated and there would be responsibilities, burdens, expectations etc..so why are we so complex to begin with? even after going thru everything and fighting for everything we want, we would still end up leaving this world anyways..after a long day visiting my ancestors' graves at 2 places, this occured to me while i was sitting down on the floor looking at the millions and thousands of graves..many of the graves were "booked", at least half of them at nirvana memorial park..these days, ppl already have graves waiting for them even when they are still young, healthy or alive..it was as if ppl were buying "condos" and "houses" for their remains after they die.."condos" are those for the cremated; while "houses" with land are for those who end up being buried..typical asians for being "kiasu" even until they die..must choose land with good feng shui and location..even though it was part of the culture, i hated the burning of all the papers and plastic bags (the worst !!) that would occur over the next 2 weeks..the way i see it..assimilation between the 2 religions over the past centuries due to various factors are seen today where ppl are confused abt the difference between taoism and buddhism..so they tend to mix up the practices and all..this shows that ppl just accept the believes or practices that were passed down to them without thinking and finding out the differences and all..

in a way..i feel that life is fragile and we do not know how long we could live..there are times that i wish i could just cease to exist in this world..away from all the responsibilities, the expectations and the pain that is so unbearable..i tend to wonder..how would life be like as an organism that isn't as complex as humans..or how would life be on the "other side"? would it take the pain away?