They say, no point fighting a battle when you know you would nvr win from the start..i dunno why i tried when i subconciously knew from the start that i was gonna lose..i truly dunno why i place myself in such situations and end up hurt..

thinking of changing my whole blog..from the layouts to the contents..if i do so..should i just delete everything in this one and start over or just start a new site instead? either ways..am too tired for now..and feeling horribly sick from the food i had at williams..note to self: when i go williams again next time..make sure i do not order anything other than garlic bread and drinks..everything else suck now..

My newfound interest in GLEE

I've been watching Glee recently during my cny break..seriously i've nvr expected it to be good..but the performances and singing were much better than those of the original..well..that's how i find it..and the guys are really amazing in there..their looks, dancing and singing..finally..there's a musical i truly like..

and this is why: (take a look)

If a person has an experience that is physically, mentally or emotionally traumatic, the mind deals with the situation in one of several different ways..Some people abuse alcohol, food, drugs or other substances to numb the feelings they have inside..Others mourn for a short period of time, restore their faith, balance and sanity, and somehow miraculously move on..But the rest of us left over, usually those who are very analytical and logical, have trouble processing deeply troubling situations..So we replay the painful situation over and over again in our minds, searching for an answer..But the problem is, the answer cannot be found in the rational mind, because the problem is on an emotional plain..Therefore, the solution has to come from the heart, which needs to be healed and restored..At which, i have failed to do so..

People say you only live once..but ppl are wrong abt that as they are everything..

The thought of losing so much control over personal happiness is unbearable..When you love some1, you open yourself up to suffering..that's the sad truth..maybe they'll break your heart..maybe you'll break theirs and nvr be able to look at yourself in the same way..Those are the risks..That's the burden..

Like wings, they have weight..we feel that weight on our backs..but they are a burden that lifts us..burden that allows us to fly..

wish i was dead..

i feel as though i do not belong in this world..as though i shud not have even existed in the 1st place..i'm alone and i have nobody who truly cares abt me..and at times..i wished i could die in my sleep..