thoughts that defy logic

I know they say not to think about it,
That logically everything is alright.
But sitting all alone,
in the cold, dark night,
Is enough to make me lose control,
Enough to make the feelings and thoughts,
Squirm their way into my head.
Logic can't stand up to those feelings and thoughts.
No Friends, No Love,
How can logic stand up to that?
World better off without me,
No one would miss me.
Logic says these are all lies.
But in my heart, they are true.
In my heart,
No one is there for me,
No one cares for me,
Maybe they would be better off without me.
Logically, I know the truth.
I just can't shove the thoughts and feelings out of my head,
Out of my heart.

Lesson learnt the hard way: You can't love without pain..

When you truly love someone, and u open up to that someone to let them get close to the most vulnerable side of you, you risk getting hurt and losing them..when it happens, the pain is so overwhelming and you feel as though you've broken up into a million pieces that cannot be repaired by any1 or anything we do to make ourselves feel better..and we promise not to let ourselves get hurt again or let anyone else get close to us that way..it may not be wise, but it does protect ourselves from going thru it again..it is the only way to continue with life..

stress stress stress

lately..i'm only getting up to 4 hours sleep daily n i'm getting more and more tired as time pass..rushing for thesis and preparing for presentation was no fun..but it's a race to the end..presentation was bad..i screwed up by being too nervous and distracted by ppl who pass by the room..when i looked back onto the presentation slides, i blanked out..i could not remember what i was presenting and what those gel images represent..there goes half my presentation trying to make up words and ideas since what i've remembered and prepared before the presentation has completely disappeared..in my mind at that time for each and every slide = aiks, what is this now? looks familiar but what did i do and why did i do that? so basically i started the presentation ok..but ended badly..Q&A i was still blanked out til i can't understand the questions directed to me..and my examiner was scary >.<

what's worse?? my laptop's adaptor died on me..according to lyn, it was a short circuit..cuz my laptop turn off completely the moment the adaptor died..my heart stopped beating the moment it happened..cuz over the past few weeks i've been relying completely on my laptop to get my thesis work done..my hse pc does not have the windows office 2007 version and it's hard to work with the simple version of word..i feel completely lost and helpless without word 2007..sigh..of all the times it could happen, why now? =/ but at least i've managed to get help from my very reliable friends..one offered to lend me the microsoft office cd, while another offered to lend me her spare adaptor in 2 days time..i feel grateful to be able to get the help i need at this moment..