more regrets and heartaches..

was surprised that an old acquantance of mine chatted me up on msn awhile ago..apparently he's working and staying in ss2 now..and more coincidentally, he's working at yi peng and yi mei's father's workplace..we used to be close frens abt 2-3 yrs ago..until we just stopped contacting each other as we got busy with our studies n relationships..i was even more surprised tht he's in alot of dilemma now with his gf, whom he planned to break up with and she's now pregnant..so i shared my experience with him and offered some advice..until he asked abt my current relationship..somehow..i started crying when i talked abt it..abt how stupid i was to listen to someone else's words and said things i didnt mean and more stupidity until my bf doesn't love me much anymore as he used to..when i think abt the past few months..i would say that it's the happiest i've ever been in the past few relationships..and i was dumb enuf to not realise how much i love this one person til i ruined things that may not be mendable..but who else is there to blame other than myself for being afraid of getting hurt til i listened to the other party and let myself have doubts just so that i can "prepare myself for the worst" and reduce the amount of pain that would come from it? i've had the most loving bf ever..until i lost that part of him..if only things could go back to how it was before when we were both happy and very much in love..back to my most cherished moments..